Claiming My New Life: “Freedom of Choice?” – Romans 14

“I’m so confused!” he said as he sat back, slumped in his chair. “I thought if I was in church regularly and I tried my best to follow God, He would take care of these problems.” He said. “Understandable” I replied. “Except for one thing… It is wrong! God never said that if you CAME He would clear the struggles you are having with the other believers in your life.” “What can I do then?” he asked. “You can understand. You can open your Bible and ask God about what behaviors are in your life that are causing conflict with your spiritual family. You can learn and you can change.” “I don’t want to change!” “I know, I said. The truth is that none of us want to, because we are all selfish. At the same time, that is the way to get to peace, and peace seems to be the goal here….”

 It wasn’t just ONE conversation; it is THE conversation we have when believers are in conflict with one another. How do I know what I can and should do – and what I should avoid? Some would say, “My parents didn’t let me go to movies, and now they go!” Another said: “I heard an evangelist in church say that drums were of the devil, and there they sit on our platform.” I know people that say the only Bible that is actually the Word of God is the King James Bible, and those that were translated from it. I know believers that say if you have wine at your meal, God has left the building. I know some who are embarrassed when it comes out that they own a deck of playing cards… on and on it goes.

The fact is that even when we follow the Bible, we won’t all see every issue in the same way. There are differences in the way we understand passages, and there are differences in the way we apply principles – both with the potential to cause problems for the Kingdom partners. Can I get help from God on “gray areas”? Yes, but first I must determine that the issue under consideration is truly a gray area. This type of problem only exists where God has left a decision to us – because He has not defined the boundary of limitation.

Let us affirm that we are speaking here of gray area things – The rule was not given by God as to whether or not to eat (allowing this decision to be an individual one, and therefore making this discussion ONLY about things that were not specified in Scripture as right or wrong!). Either position, if acted on in integrity of heart and not out of malice, was accepted by God. God allowed this decision to be made by the believer and, as verse three ends, “God has accepted him” (14:3b). In addition, if they observe with diligence, integrity and good conscience, they “do so for the Lord” (14:6). Our discussion today, then is only about things that are not clearly right nor wrong.

Key Principle: When the Bible doesn’t make the decision, it offers principles and questions to tell me how to make the decision.

There are FOUR PRINCIPLES I must consider in deciding a practice for my own life not specified by God’s Word:

First, the Principle of Open acceptance: “Romans 14:1a “Now accept the one who is weak in faith…” I cannot hold people out of my circle because they do not appear to do exactly what I do. I must let new people inside my circle. The contrast between Biblical and unbiblical world views makes us quickly erect walls around us, sometimes making it hard to get IN to the circle of believers as a “newby”. We also have an inclination to overextend our reach into areas NOT Biblical, but based on preferences and prejudices (i.e. political affiliation, musical tastes, dress styles, hair styles, etc). The principle of open acceptance is that I am not to become “touchy” about gray areas and hold people out that do not agree with me. What some would do is say, “great!” then I can let them in and then convince them of the error of their ways. That is answered in the second principle…

Principle of Proper motive: 14:1b…” but not for the purpose of passing judgment on his opinions.” Some were obviously tempted to “get the newby educated” and thrust on them opinions in all areas of life. We can overwhelm new believers with our indoctrinations. We must allow them to grow in the Word in their own time, led by the Spirit. We must teach, but with the realistic expectation. We dare not to beat on the fact they don’t have a Biblical world view yet – it comes with growth and time. In addition, we want them to join an allegiance to Jesus and the Word – not to every preference we share. We must be careful here. Some are held in suspicion if they don’t “fully see it our way”. Suspicion can breed separation in an ungodly way.

Principle of Understanding Hearts: For the assembly to grow and be both peaceable and effective in teaching, some understanding needed to be pleaded for. Paul walked through two parallel problems – meat and festival observances. In each case, he called on the people to recognize some foundational truths that shaped their response. The first problem (meat) is outlines in 14:2-3; the second (daily observances) in 14:5-6.

Rom 14:2 “One person has faith that he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats vegetables only. 3 The one who eats is not to regard with contempt the one who does not eat, and the one who does not eat is not to judge the one who eats, for God has accepted him… 5 One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 He who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and he who eats, does so for the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who eats not, for the Lord he does not eat, and gives thanks to God.

To navigate through our differences in a congregation, we have to recognize some foundational truth

Clearly we are not all the same in how we see the effects of the world on practices of our life. Some saw the meats of the “macellum” attached to the markets in Rome as defiling. Others saw no harm in eating the meats because the idols were harmless manmade concoctions. Both positions existed in people in the assembly in people of integrity (14:2).

I recall as a young man some stirring presentations made by traveling evangelists that assured me that since my drum set was used by pagans in the jungle, and by rock stars that didn’t love God, it was intrinsically evil. I was implored to follow God and get rid of the instruments of the devil. It wasn’t until much later that I understood the error involved in that thinking. First, the historical argument was “since it came from people who used it for evil, it was intrinsically evil.” The problem has been illustrated in the lives of people who point out the pagan origins of many of our holiday customs – like a Christmas tree.

The problem is, the historical argument is not valid. Because the Earl of Sandwich had his servants put meet on bread so he could eat with one hand while continuing to waste away a fortune on gambling – meat on bread began with an association. That doesn’t intrinsically mean a sandwich is wrong. The misuse of something doesn’t invalidate an appropriate use of the same thing. Beyond the historical line of argument is a second layer – selective facts. The evangelist didn’t explain the historical positive uses of the drums in Hebrew worship, because it didn’t fit his preferences. I am not telling everyone that drums are of God. I am not preaching that they are NOT of God. I am surveying the use of the item and allowing the boundaries to be principally stated. Worship must be done decently and in order… Worship is not a showcase concert, etc…

Some adopted good things not Biblically commanded to them. In the same way, because some of the assembly was Jewish in background, they observed Sabbath according to the command of God. They were commanded to do so. Even in the Epistles to them (Hebrews 4) they were reaffirmed. When other believers of a Gentile background became fond of their Jewish brothers and worshipped together with them, they began to understand the Sabbath and its meaning and significance in revealing the truths of God. Though not commanded to observe the Sabbath and the feasts of the Lord for His special covenant people, some began to adopt it as a “higher standard of obedience” – something that was not stated by God. We know this is the type of observance, together with other Biblical feasts, because they “did them unto the Lord” – something that could NOT be said of pagan festivals. The problem wasn’t that adopting the practices was wrong, but making it a standard for others clearly was wrong.

Let us reaffirm that we are speaking here of gray area things – The rule was not given by God as to whether or not to eat (allowing this decision to be an individual one, and therefore making this discussion ONLY about things that were not specified in Scripture as right or wrong!). Either position, if acted on in integrity of heart and not out of malice, was accepted by God. God allowed this decision to be made by the believer and, as verse three ends, “God has accepted him” (14:3b). In addition, if they observe with diligence, integrity and good conscience, they “do so for the Lord” (14:6). Dr. Henry Ironside, (a great Brethren preacher who pastored at Moody Church in Chicago before he eventually retired in Winona Lake, IN.) used to say: “Don’t ever insist that other people walk in the light of your conscience.“

God did give a ruling principle that was the standard of obedience – neither believer could have contempt for the other believer. The “eating one” could not think badly of the “abstainer” – nor vice versa (14:3a).

Fourthly, the Principle of Recognition was called into play in making the decisions about practice. There were two foundational truths that every believer needed to recognize about one another to make decisions in gray areas:

Recognition of Place: As Romans, the first recipients knew not to chastise another’s slaves. Though they were in rank beneath the freedman, they were not “open property”. As believers, Paul argued that each believer was to recognize that other believers are not in rank below them, but in fact, a slave of another Master – as they themselves were. He wrote: Romans 14:4 “Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.” …7 For not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself; 8 for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s. 9 For to this end Christ died and lived again, that He might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.

What this recognition implies is the following:

First, I don’t have the right to stand in judgment of another believer if their actions are not clearly specified as outside of the boundaries of Scripture. Ray Stedman wrote: “The word judge means “to condemn” — to say about that person that, perhaps, he is not a Christian, or that he is a worldly or a carnal Christian.” Be careful here! In a culture of tolerance, many believe it is Biblically wrong to challenge ANY behavior – when that is NOT the Biblical standard. If you are cheating on your marriage, you are wrong. If you are coming home drunk, you are wrong. If you are stealing from work, you are wrong. This isn’t being judgmental – it is maintaining the objective standards of the Word of God. We don’t have the right to make preference judgments of other believers because they don’t serve US – they serve Jesus. At the same time, they cannot use this to act in ways that are outside the scope of a slave. Any slave that murdered another man could be turned in, even by another slave of a different owner. We must limit the tolerance to what the passage intended – not to the sweeping “no one has the right to tell me I am wrong” misshapen tolerance of our culture today. In Barna’s new survey of unbelievers regarding the church, the number one response to “church” is “judgmental”. The knee jerk reaction of many churches is to let their guard down and stop calling sin what it is – and that sets the church up for future tragedy.

Second, I must view all the deeds and participations of my life through the lens of what satisfies my Savior. Like any close relationship, we have to modify our behaviors to please the other – but this is much more intense. Paul was recalling the point that he eloquently made in Romans 12:2 “.. so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” His statement was that we had the privilege of discerning what pleases our Master – an excellent goal for the journey through life!

Recognition of Judgment: This is another area Christians become uncomfortable with in front of the tolerance laden world. There IS a judgment coming. Failing to mention it helps no one – even if it helps us get more people in the door. Getting people IN CHURCH is not God’s prime objective; transforming lives by the renewing of the mind is. Remember, everyone that has ever been born faces two judgments: one for SIN and one for WORKS. Your SIN judgment is a judicial penalty relating to your disposition from the Fall into sin in the garden. Another way to say this – you will have a hearing on whether the sin nature penalty has been satisfied. For the believer, the judicial penalty for that sin nature was totally and completely dealt with at the cross of Messiah. That was the clear point of the first part of the letter to the Romans, and we needn’t make it again. We can simply summarize it in a few verses:

Romans 8:1”Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. 3 For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, 4 so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.”

Recognition of judgment has some implications as well. Paul wrote: Romans 14:10 But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you regard your brother with contempt? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. 11 For it is written, “AS I LIVE, SAYS THE LORD, EVERY KNEE SHALL BOW TO ME, AND EVERY TONGUE SHALL GIVE PRAISE TO GOD.” 12 So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God. In a sense, the judgment is a great leveler of men. We will all be judged and our account is NOT to each other – but to the one who can clear away all the nonsense of our lives and get to the truth of our actions and attitudes without delay.

Six Questions for the Standards of Behavior

Let’s suppose I really DO want to do the thing that pleases the Savior. How do I decide what that is when the Word hasn’t specified the choice for me? There are a variety of approaches. The choice of John Wesley was what I term the “Puritan Choice” of “if it seems fun, don’t even think about it” (I am being facetious.)  He wrote twelve rules for Preachers, of which the second one is: “Be serious. Let your motto be, ‘Holiness to the Lord.’ Avoid all lightness, jesting, and foolish talking.” Though this stern advice is very safe, it lacks winsomeness. The severity may get people to take you seriously, but they won’t want to be around you very much! Jesus is communicated in relationship, and people who scare people don’t build relationships.

It always seems holy to say no – but that just isn’t so. God wants us to engage people and lead positive lives. At the same time, He wants us to demonstrate surrendered lives. Here are six practical questions that God’s Spirit offered through Paul’s pen:

Peril: Will my actions cause someone to stumble from a holy walk?

14:13 Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this—not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way. 14 I know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but to him who thinks anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. 15 For if because of food your brother is hurt, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy with your food him for whom Christ died.

We do things both for ourselves and as an example to others. We cannot be involved in actions that would place an obstacle in the path of one who is weak and will stumble in their faith because of the example we set. We may know that we CAN do a thing, and yet choose not to do so because it would cause another a point of stumbling.

I must caution here a point that we made when we studied in 1 Corinthians 8-10 and the “meat offered to idols” instructions. God made specific standards on behalf of the “weaker brother” but never on behalf of the legalistic Christian. A legalist is one who desires to control the actions of others. A weaker brother is one who will be hindered by the example of others. We don’t live to satisfy the legalist. We also need to identify them as some who claim “perpetual weakness” among us. The question is this: “Will this action cause someone to stumble from their obedient and surrendered walk with God if they see me do it?” The question is NOT: “Are there any believers anywhere that may disagree with what I am doing.” The end point is this: If there is someone that may observe what you are doing and be derailed in their faith as a result, walk away from that choice.

Chuck Swindoll wrote: “One of my favorite stories comes from a man who used to be in our church. He and his wife were close friends of our family, but they have now moved to another part of the country. We really miss their joyful presence. When he was a youth worker many years ago in an ethnic community, he attended a church that had Scandinavian roots. Being a rather forward-looking and creative young man, he decided he would show the youth group a missionary film. We’re talking simple, safe, black-and-white religious-oriented movie. That film projector hadn’t been off an hour before a group of the leaders in the church called him in and asked him about what he had done. They asked, “Did you show the young people a film?” In all honesty he responded, “Well, yeah, I did.” “We don’t like that,” they replied. Without trying to be argumentative, the youth worker reasoned, “Well, I remember that at the last missionary conference, our church showed slides—” One of the church officers put his hand up signaling him to cease talking. Then, in these words, he emphatically explained the conflict: “If it’s still, fine. If it moves, sin!” You can show slides, but when they start movin’, you’re gettin’ into sin.” C. Swindoll, The Grace Awakening, Word, 1990, pp. 160-161

Reputation: Will my actions cause others to turn from listening to my testimony?

14:16 Therefore do not let what is for you a good thing be spoken of as evil; 17 for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 For he who in this way serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men.

Not only believers observe what we do, but unbelievers also watch our lives. If we do something that would keep people from understanding what a walk with God is truly about, we should refrain from that practice. Some people I know love to play a game that requires that you LIE openly to others around the circle. I am not comfortable playing the game. I don’t think it represents the lifestyle I want to live. At the same time, I don’t believe they are wrong in playing it. I just know that I am uncomfortable playing it.  It is not necessary, and I don’t do it.

I don’t play competitive games with our ministry teams. It isn’t that I am afraid to lose – I lose in games often. It is because I find no reason to compete in play with the team God has called me to cooperate with for ministry’s sake. It is nothing more than a personal thing, and it helps me keep peace and joy in the relationships. I want to be BOTH acceptable to God AND approved of by men.

Stir: Will my actions cause a fight among believers?

14:19 So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. 20 Do not tear down the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are clean, but they are evil for the man who eats and gives offense. 21 It is good not to eat meat or to drink wine, or to do anything by which your brother stumbles.

If I am in the midst of believers for whom meat or wine gives offense, I can set aside my personal preferences so as to not allow a point of argument to be raised. After all, am I there to share time with them, or to make a point about my personal preferences and freedoms? Why offend people? I love the opportunity to truly love them if I do.

J. Wilbur Chapman said, “My life is governed by this rule: Anything that dims my vision of Christ or takes away my taste for Bible study or cramps my prayer life or makes Christian work difficult is wrong for me, and I must, as a Christian, turn away from it.”

Assurance: Do I truly know that my action is acceptable to God?

14:22 The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. 23 But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and whatever is not from faith is sin.

I must make REAL and DISCERNING choices about what is right, based on the principles of the Word. I don’t want to form my opinions based on the preferences of others. Because someone “liketh not chocolate and believeth that it shall hinder my walk” does not make it law if it is not in the Word, and they will not be hindered by my choice. I shall tell thee of my choice – I shall eat it in circumstances where I am SURE God says it is ok to do so. I shall celebrate the liberty and freedom, but not use it as a cause to hinder a weak one or abrasively cause division in a more mature but strongly opinionated one.

Attitude: Does my action reflect the attitudes of Jesus?

15:1 Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. 2 Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. 3 For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, “THE REPROACHES OF THOSE WHO REPROACHED YOU FELL ON ME.”

My heart attitude must be to give up something with great joy, instead of grudgingly. I must see the other’s good as an end in itself. Other person centered living is the call of the Christian. It is not a penalty – it is a joy!

Guide: Is there actual Biblical instruction and example related to my action that I can follow?

15:4 For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. 5 Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus, 6 so that with one accord you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Search the Scriptures in your choices. Be sure that if you are going in a different direction than your Christian neighbors, there is an openness to studying the Word and being instructed by the Word. Maybe the Bible doesn’t mention your specific concern, but the principles of other similar situations will guide you. It isn’t all in the letter – it is in the principle. When the Bible doesn’t make the decision, it offers principles and questions to tell me how to make the decision.