The Wandering Shepherd

Ten Lessons Mary Learned About Motherhood - Luke 2, John 2

The family photo album of Jesus offers only a few glimpses of his home life on earth - but they are precious reminders of how God set up families and what moms are for!

Key Principle: God knew what He was doing when He established motherhood as an invaluable calling in our lives. All of us have a mother – it is a common experience.

Ten Lessons in Seven Snapshots:

1. Birth: Luke 2:7: “And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn…"

 * In the earliest event between Jesus and His mother, she is meeting His basic provisional needs of clothing and warmth. She sought the best place she could (she settled for what she could provide). Lesson One: You can’t give them everything you want to give them – but provide what they most need- YOU. Your time, your love means everything!

2. Shepherd Visit: Luke 2:17-19 “When they (the shepherds) had seen this, they made known the statement which had been told them about this Child. 18 And all who heard it wondered at the things which were told them by the shepherds. 19 But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.”

 * Later that same night, the shepherds told her of a great future for her child. She delighted and dreamed of a future for her child! Lesson Two: Dream for your child. Delight in every step of learning and cheer them into being what God intended them to be! Mothering is not an act of biology, it is a dynamic relationship.

3. Circumcision at Temple: Luke 2:21-24: “And when eight days had passed, before His circumcision, His name was then called Jesus, the name given by the angel before He was conceived in the womb. 22 And when the days for their purification according to the law of Moses were completed, they brought Him up to Jerusalem to present Him to the Lord 23 (as it is written in the Law of the Lord, "EVERY firstborn MALE THAT OPENS THE WOMB SHALL BE CALLED HOLY TO THE LORD"), 24 and to offer a sacrifice according to what was said in the Law of the Lord, "A PAIR OF TURTLEDOVES OR TWO YOUNG PIGEONS."

 * Eight days after His birth, Mary and Joseph were offering a sacrifice for the child and naming the baby in accordance to the angelic command at the time of the conception. Lesson Three: “My children” are not “my children”.  Israel redeemed their first born child as the Law stated (Lev. 12:6). We all need reminders they aren’t “our” doing, and they don’t truly belong to us!

4. Prophecy at Temple Gate: Luke 2:34-35: “And Simeon blessed them and said to Mary His mother, "Behold, this Child is appointed for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and for a sign to be opposed—35 and a sword will pierce even your own soul--to the end that thoughts from many hearts may be revealed."

 * We live and die a thousand times in the excitement and pain of our children as they live – we face the heart break of every disappointment or trouble they will suffer in their future. Lesson Four: Hard times will come for our child, and we must prepare the child, but we must also prepare ourselves! Happy is the woman who has built a great relationship with an unfailing God in the good years. "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who reveres the Lord will be praised." Proverbs 31:30.

5. About 12 years old: Luke 2:41-52 “Now His parents went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover. 42 And when He became twelve, they went up there according to the custom of the Feast; 43 and as they were returning, after spending the full number of days, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. But His parents were unaware of it, 44 but supposed Him to be in the caravan, and went a day's journey; and they began looking for Him among their relatives and acquaintances. 45 When they did not find Him, they returned to Jerusalem looking for Him. 46 Then, after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. 47 And all who heard Him were amazed at His understanding and His answers. 48 When they saw Him, they were astonished; and His mother said to Him, "Son, why have You treated us this way? Behold, Your father and I have been anxiously looking for You." 49 And He said to them, "Why is it that you were looking for Me? Did you not know that I had to be in My Father's house?" 50 But they did not understand the statement which He had made to them. 51 And He went down with them and came to Nazareth , and He continued in subjection to them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.”

 * Teen years! First, it is notable that Jesus had parents that went out of their way to be consistent to obey the Word of God at great cost to themselves (41). Lesson Five: Life’s biggest lessons are taught without words – in patterns! Following God’s way cost time, money, and effort. In a word, they taught Jesus COMMITMENT through their lives. They stayed committed to each other, and to God’s Word. That taught volumes without words.

 * Second, they learned to trust Jesus, and added extra freedoms to his life as He grew (42-43). Lesson Six: Children need more than provision, they need preparation. They moved past provision and protection into preparation for life. This is no easy task. We want to hover, many of us, and do everything for the child. In an effort to keep them from struggles we will do their homework and projects for them, giving them token roles. We pick up what they drop, clean up what they spill, put their clothing, tools and games away. All the while we train them to be waited on. Sometimes they need to reap, so they learn consequences.

 * Finally, I found it very amusing and not al little heartening that the ONLY exchange we have between Jesus and His parents during his teen years was a “conflict” in which verse v.50 simply exclaims: “They did not understand what he was saying!” Without the need to comment much, don’t skip past this. Lesson Seven: The conflict that happens in the home as our children grow independent is not always a sin issue. Some of the conflict has to do with assumptions – on the part of parents or on the part of children. Some has to do with undeclared expectations.

6. Grown Son at Public Event - Wedding: John 2:1 “On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; 2 and both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. 3 When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to Him, "They have no wine." 4 And Jesus said to her, "Woman, what does that have to do with us? My hour has not yet come." 5 His mother said to the servants, "Whatever He says to you, do it." 6 Now there were six stone water pots set there for the Jewish custom of purification, containing twenty or thirty gallons each. 7 Jesus said to them, "Fill the water pots with water." So they filled them up to the brim. 8 And He said to them, "Draw some out now and take it to the headwaiter." So they took it to him. 9 When the headwaiter tasted the water which had become wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the headwaiter called the bridegroom, 10 and said to him, "Every man serves the good wine first, and when the people have drunk freely, then he serves the poorer wine; but you have kept the good wine until now." 11This beginning of His signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory, and His disciples believed in Him."

 * Mary was pushing Jesus to solve a problem that probably appeared as meddling to Jesus. Mom was acutely aware of his abilities, and wanted to get him involved in solving another’s problems. Jesus responded with obedience, but reluctance over being placed in the position Lesson Eight: Learn when to push and when to stand back and let things happen. A push is not always the right thing! Sometimes a child needs to be encouraged to reach outside themselves and help others. Sometimes we can embarrass our child by trying to push them into a limelight they do not feel prepared for. Don’t push too hard – look at their hearts with understanding!

 * Mary told the servants to listen and then left the scene to Jesus. Mom set him up to have expectation placed on him, then left him to show what he could do. Lesson Nine: Don’t micromanage the “how”! If you want to drive, get out of the back seat and do it. If you are letting them take on the project, it won’t get done exactly the way you would do it. I am not saying you shouldn’t teach. I am not saying you should not outline your expectation to have the mess cleaned up by them. I am saying they need to test their wings the way they need to do it.

7. The Big Move Away John 2:12: "After this He went down to Capernaum, He and His mother and His brothers and His disciples; and they stayed there a few days.”

 * Even though He was an adult, she wanted to be sure He was moved in and situated, because a mother is always a mother! Lesson Ten: Even as an adult, you will need to build the relationship. They will move away and you may not be involved in their daily life, but you can have input if you lovingly inject a deliberate attention to who their friends are, what their needs are, and what their life is about.

I want to close with a story told by Nan Pinkston, a nurse in a cancer ward, and herself a mother. This is how she remembers it (published by by Most Rev. Dr. Robert M. Bowman, Presiding Bishop, United Catholic Church) :

“I remember the day she was admitted to the ward. As I reviewed her admission papers, I was surprised to see that she was 32 and being admitted for chemotherapy to treat breast cancer that had been diagnosed two weeks earlier. I entered the room and introduced myself. Rebekah, her eyes sparkling with love and her ponytail bouncing, introduced me to her husband, Warren, and her daughters, Ruthie, age six, and Hannah, age four. Cradled in her crossed legs wiggled her third daughter, Molly, age two. While I filled out forms, Rebekah directed the unpacking of her suitcase — a comforter made by her grandmother, a poster of cheer from her church circle, and a family portrait for her bedside table, along with her worn Bible. Warren gathered the girls to go to the airport to pick up Grandmother. "I need to place a needle in your arm to give you the chemotherapy," I explained. "I’ll do anything to get well for my husband and girls. I can handle throwing up, losing my hair, and being tired, but I’m absolutely terrified of needles." Rebekah’s voice shook and her eyes brimmed with tears. "You can cry, but please don’t move. On the count of three ..." "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." Rebekah said loudly as the needle slid smoothly into the vein. With the successful completion of the intravenous, Rebekah asked, "What is your favorite Bible verse?" "John 11:35," I answered. "Jesus wept." "Oh! That’s a sad verse," she replied, a bit somberly. "It brings me comfort, knowing that Jesus is sad when bad things happen to his people. It demonstrates to me a human side of him that I need to know when I care for sick people. I know he can and will heal the sick, but returning to health can entail sad times, so I know he is there to support me in the sad times so that I can support patients." "I’ll have to give that some thought," replied Rebekah. For the next 18 months, I saw Rebekah on a regular basis to receive chemotherapy and radiation. A chest X-ray showed the cancer had spread and there were no further medical weapons to use against the cancer. How could I support her in this new challenge? I entered Rebekah’s room and found it cluttered with paper, tapes, and a tape recorder. "Nan, I’m making tapes for my daughters, to know what I feel, think, and advise on important occasions. I don’t want them to forget me. Do you have any suggestions?" I looked over her list — first day of school, becoming sweet 16, first date, first kiss, confirmation, etc. She let me listen to the tapes, which were moving and filled with motherly advice, encouragement, and love. Rebekah taped each day from her notes as she grew weaker and weaker. Rebekah explained to her young daughters that she was making special tapes that their dad would keep for them to listen to later. She explained that she was going to live with God and help him get a home ready for them when they were very old. We all knew the end was approaching. I was surprised when I got a frantic phone call at home from a nurse who said that Rebekah was pleading — begging that I come with a blank tape. Making a mental checklist of all the tapes she had made, I could not imagine what topic could have possible been forgotten. Entering Rebekah’s room, I noticed she was having severe shortness of breath and was very anxious, gasping, "Nan, do you have the tape?" "Take a deep breath. Of course I have the tape," I replied.As I set up the tape recorder, she explained, "This is my most important tape." I held the microphone close to her mouth and she began, "Ruthie, Hannah, and Molly, some day your daddy will bring a new mommy home. I want you to make her feel very special, and how proud you will make me feel if you are kind, patient, and encouraging to her as she learns to take care of each of you. Help her set the table. Please bring her dandelions to put in the special vase — most important, hug her often. Please do not be sad for long. ‘Jesus cried.’ He knows haw sad you are and he knows you will be happy again. I love you so much, Hannah, Ruthie, and Molly. Big hugs, your first mommy." I turned off the tape player. "Thank you. I can sleep now." I adjusted the pillow under her head and rolled a pillow to her back and exited quietly. Rebekah died two days later. I mailed the tape to their dad four years later when Warren and the girls prepared to welcome their new wife and mommy."

Since time began, there have been several billion mothers. This was the story of just one of them.

Every story of motherhood is different. Each one is valuable. Each of us has our own. Today is a day for remembering those stories. Mothers, we honor you this day and thank you. We thank God for giving you to us and for endowing you with the spirit of giving, caring, nurturing, loving, and (when necessary) letting go.” God knew what He was doing when He established motherhood as an invaluable calling in our lives.

Character: “The Sculpture of a Modern Mom" - Galatians 5

I have always found sculpture fascinating. The whole process of removing marble from a block with a chisel and completing a breathtaking work like that of Michelangelo or Bernini amazes me. I have sat in churches in Europe for hours studying the lines of some of the greats.  Not long ago, I found there was another way to “shape” or “sculpt” something. I saw my first perfectly square lemon and another perfectly square watermelon. The fruit grew to fit within the constraints of a bottle or container that was placed on the limb of the tree (on vine respectively) when it was quite small. The constraint shaped the growth - it always does.

Key Principle: The "shape" around someone forms their growth to a pattern.

Moms and Dads are sculpture artists. In the Bible, that process is called parenting. The shape is formed at the earliest stage by parents, but as the child grows, the school community, the sports coaches, the neighbor families, playmates homes – all become shaping places. The message to parents is how to include the right shaping elements and exclude those that misshape the child.

The letter I have chosen for this Mother’s Day is not primarily about the recognition of mothers. In fact, it is not even primarily about shaping children. Yet, it has been carefully chosen because it reflects God’s Words concerning how a believer should be shaped in terms of character, and has a particular application on this special day. Let me be clear: We should pick a topic and then look for a place in the Bible to “prop up” our conclusions – it is a dangerous way of presenting truth. The Bible should not be spoken from, it should SPEAK. While I will be addressing moms, I want to address all of us from what God’s intent is from the passage in Galatians 5.

Paul wrote Galatians to believers in what is today Central Turkey. The area was visited by Paul, but he did not stay long on any of his mission trips. He preached the Gospel to them, and they responded. The new birth was exciting, but the enemy quickly planted in Paul’s path some who came behind Paul with a message that Paul’s Gospel was insufficient. The formula of salvation was then amended by these following teachers to include a host of other acts to obtain true salvation.

This is always a tricky problem for the church of all ages. We preach two things that seem to tug at one another – on the one had, we preach that salvation comes through trusting Christ, and Him alone for salvation. On the other hand, we preach that such a new birth will be evident by a commitment to a lifestyle that honors God each day. The problem comes when some claim to believe, but have no evidence that belief has, in fact, changed them. Are they truly one of us? Add to that the problem that many in our day confuse “believe” with “be convinced of the truth of” – rather than an issue of commitment. They make our faith into a theological and cognitive exercise, rather than what the message of the Gospel is really about – the heart and the will.

The key to Galatians is the understanding that the Good News is unchanging: Jesus paid for your sin, and by committing your life, your future, you will to Him – you will have eternal life. At the same time, that life is to be conformed to the shape of God’s spirit – not a list given by a church or other authority. Real life will be seen in a believer by the shape of their character in Christ, and the empowering of the Spirit in very practical ways.

Building character and shaping behavior – doesn’t that sound like the job of a MOM? Sure it does. So it is with that in mind we approach Galatians this mother’s day. Walk with me through Galatians and let me bring you up to speed on the book to drop us into the last part of the book:

In Galatians 1:6 Paul opened with the shock of a parent that had raised children that were not acting the way they were brought up. They were taught the Gospel, but were leaving that truth for another message. What parent can’t relate to this story? Paul finished the chapter stressing what the Gospel of Christ is. In verse 7,8,9,11… over and over he pounds out what they were raised in their early faith to believe. He gave them evidence that what he told them was true – that it did not come from men, that it was approved before the Apostles in chapter 2, and that he defended it before the Apostles when they weren’t consistently living it.

In Galatians 3:2 he reminded them of the new life experience they had with the coming of the Spirit of God into their lives. Any parent would do the same thing with an erring child. You take them back to when they felt attached to all the things they had as blessing to offer evidence of the truth of the lifestyle you trained them in. Let me apply this, for example, to our nation:
We had foundations in Biblical thought. The country was founded with Biblical principles related to family, responsibility, community and personal integrity. I am not saying all those who lived in the colonial period knew Jesus as their Savior. I AM saying that no one would have made the public argument that the Bible was the reason for ills of the society and that pagan philosophy could offer salvation. Yet sadly, that echoes from learned halls across the nation.

 * People want a family to nurture them, but they don’t want the responsibility of commitment.
 * People hunger for relationship, but they don’t want the constriction of monogamy.
 * People want a trusting society, but they don’t want to face Biblical principles of truth.
 * People want prosperity, but they don’t want the Biblical restrictions of integrity that force us to pay for what we sign, and deliver what we promise.

One way the church can encourage the society is stop preaching to them about what they are doing wrong, and build strong marriages, and strong homes. We can show up at work early, work harder than our counterparts, do MORE for LESS. We can live within our means and make progress of character more important than prosperity in our bank account. We can laugh more, grow together more, protect one another more… and they will WANT to have what we have. We can literally draw them in with the BENEFITS of knowing God and His family… but only if we commit to live that way.

Paul took the early Galatian believers back to a time when the Spirit changed them. He reminded them that all the benefits were theirs BEFORE these additional teachers came to them to lay burdens of a “new way” in their path. He called them back to the sonship they received in the Gospel in Galatians 4:4-5 and called them away from the symbolic things they were being sucked into in Galatians 4:9-10. He told them they were free in Galatians 5:1, but that freedom was not a reason to march off and do whatever they wanted to do.

In Galatians 5:13 he instructed them that their freedom was given to them for the purpose of caring for those who were yet in bondage, and for others who were set free, but still weak from the bondage:

Imagine you were on a cruise ship in the Bahamas. You came for a wonderful vacation, but a storm pushed the captain of the ship to leave the normal path of operations and you found yourself happy, overfed and well rested – but in a part of the world you didn’t intend to be in. Early one morning, a few days into the journey you awoke to hear shots fired on board the vessel and left your cabin to go up on deck. As you got to the deck, you were horrified to see the captain and grew rounded up by some poorly dressed, motley looking pirates. The entire crew and all passengers were assembled and put in chains. The luxurious liner was ransacked by the pirates as you sat helplessly in the hot sun on the deck and watched. Some of the passengers were brutalized. Some young women were taken away by the pirates, and never came back. Everyone was changed together. A few days passed. People were weakened by hunger and thirst, and blistered by the sun. Spirits were breaking, and no one was able to gain control of the situation. People sat in their stinking clothing, soiled and sweaty. The elderly and the very young were beginning to succumb to death. Within a few days, the journey of luxury was turned to a nightmare. One of the pirates came over and saw several men and women and unchained them. He set them free to begin to serve the others some meager bread and water rations. As he set them free, they could have attempted to escape, relishing their freedom. With only a few pirates aboard, they could have gotten lost in the ship in hiding, raiding some cabins and eating well. They could have used their freedom ON THEMSELVES. Yet, they were called to use their freedom to serve the others. Some who were in chains, others who were loosed but so weak they would not survive without assistance…. That is the believer. He has been set free, but not for himself… He has been set free to help the weaker freed ones, and to help those still in chains… that is the PURPOSE of his freedom!

No parent is happy when a child misuses the freedoms of “getting out on their own”. No mother wants to protect and provide alone --- the calling includes PREPARATION for real life. What mother who knows Jesus this morning would find it hard to hear themselves saying what Paul said in Galatians 6:13-15? If I paraphrased the verses in MOM LANGUAGE it would sound like this:

“You have grown up freedoms for more than just yourself! This isn’t just so you can party, but so that you can be responsible to your community and care about others. Real happiness isn’t found in hoarding, but in serving and loving! If you become all about GETTING you will end up wounded and torn apart by one another!”

Some time ago, a Pastor wrote (I cannot recall where I got this): "A lecturer was once invited to speak to a religion class at a private high school on the topic of Christianity. At the end of his talk, an athletic-looking, street-wise student raised his hand and asked, “Do you have a lot of don’t in your church?” Sensing that the student had a deeper motive, he answered, “What you really want to ask me is if we have any freedom, right?” Yes, he nodded. “Sure, I’m free to do whatever I want to do,” he answered. The student’s face reflected his disbelief at what the man said. “I’m free to rob a bank. But I’m mature enough to realize that I would be in bondage to that act for the rest of my life. I’d have to cover up my crime, go into hiding or eventually pay for what I did. I’m also free to tell a lie. But if I do, I have to keep telling it and I have to remember who I told it to and how I told it or I will get caught. I’m free to do drugs, abuse alcohol and live a sexually immoral life-style. All of those “freedoms” lead to bondage. I’m free to make those choices, but considering the consequences, would you really be free?”

Then Paul followed with these shocking words to these believers (Galatians 5:16-17): Walk by God’s Spirit and you will not fill up the shopping cart with items to satiate your fleshly desires. The Spirit isn’t about filling up the flesh, and the flesh isn’t about filling up the Spirit!

Any child would shout out a question at this point: “How? How can I walk by the Spirit? What does that mean in PRACTICAL TERMS?

Paul offered the advise that I want every parent and grandparent to hear. I want every believer to take special heed to these truths – they are the answer to the problem of a disintegrating church in a morally sliding nation. They did, can and will work – but we must first listen, then truly hear the words within – then conform our lifestyle to their teaching:

First, Paul says, “If you attempt to work to earn God’s salvation, you don’t understand it!” (Galatians 5:18) You are not justified by what you live like. You don’t earn God’s love, no matter how good the items on the list are. You give your heart to Him, and you submit your will to Him. He will direct your steps. When you submitted your heart, you were saved. Your feet will follow – but they won’t lead you to Him.

As a mom, you get the opportunity to teach unconditional love as the BASIS for relationship. The creation in your womb evoked love in your heart before you knew the child. It wasn’t about them, it was about a deep work of God inside you. Parents teach relationship. When families fracture, they tear the heart of a child’s ability to understand unconditional love. They drive their children from a right understanding of God’s love!

Second, God offered through Paul a definition of a real love relationship: “If you live in the deeds of the world, you show that your heart and will were not really submitted to God at all – no matter what you say you did!” This seems like the opposite of the first principle, but it is not. This is easily illustrated by the child that constantly says to his mom, “I LOVE YOU!” when everything they do is a demonstration that this is merely a manipulative statement unsupported by life facts. If we love someone, we don’t intentionally set out to hurt them. If we love someone in authority, we show them respect by not flaunting disregard for their rules. We don’t respect their rules to earn their love (as we said above), we respect their rules BECAUSE we have their love and we treasure the relationship.

In the text, flaunting disrespect for God looks like these – note they are ALL ABOUT ME (Galatians 5:19-21):

 * Immorality: porneia; illicit sexual intercourse (Using body for self pleasure is misuse of the gift of sexuality). USING GOD’S GIFT OF SEXUALITY DESIGNED TO BUILD INTIMACY IN A MARRIED COUPLE FOR SELFISH “FEEL GOOD” REASONS.

 * Impurity: akatharsia; uncleansed living, living with unbridled desires that are not corrected. (Living with guilt that you try to hide from God isolates you from Him). USING FREEDOMS TO SATIATE SELF DESIRES RATHER THAN CARING FOR THE OTHER PRISONERS CHAINED TOGETHER.

 * Sensuality: aselgia; shameless hungers for self fulfillment. (Openly making it be about you and thinking that is ok!) THIS IS AN EXERCISE IN MAKING A PRIMARY FOCUS OF “MY NEEDS” SOUND LIKE A MATURE RESPONSE TO A LIFE SITUATION!

 * Idolatry: idolateria; things pertaining to idols. THIS IS ABOUT LIVING WITH SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN GOD BUT CLAIMING THAT I AM HIS!

 * Sorcery: farmakia; the use of anesthetizing drugs or highs from them. (I need to feel good and I will pay any price to do so.) THIS IS ABOUT DESIRING TO USE MY LIFE TO FEEL BETTER RATHER THAN TO DO BETTER – A FORM OF SELFISHNESS.

 * Enmities: fthonos; actions prompted by envy that will lead to the corruption of someone, usually to get someone else back (revenge). (I will bring them down!)

 * Strife: eris; wrangling and dissention. (If they hate each other, they will like me more!)

 * Jealousy: to want what has not been granted to you. (I will obsess over things that I don’t have that others seem to get.)

 * Outbursts of anger: thoomus; boiling over passionate lashing out verbally or physically. (It’s not my fault, they all make me so mad!)

 * Disputes: erithia; electioneering, manipulation for personal gain. (I can get what I want out of them!)  After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

 * Dissensions: dikhosetia; force a wedge between to divide. (I am not happy that they are happy, so I will divide them and get one of their attentions.)

 * Factions: haheresis; factions like Pharisees or Sadducees that operated to undercut each other without regard to those used. (My point is more important than you are!)

 * Envying: ftonos; to plot the downfall because of jealousy. (You are going down sister!)

 * Drunkenness: methay; intoxication. (I can’t face my problems, I need this!)

 * Carousing: komos; from the Bacchus festival; late night revelries that include boisterous displays. (Life is short and I want to have as much fun as I can!)

Do you see it? It is SELF, SELF, SELF, SELF… my needs, my desires, my life. This is the person who claims to be a follower of Jesus – claims to have submitted their will, their future, their heart to Him… but their life is about themselves. Their life is about fulfilling desires that God never intended to have as their focus of life.

Third, God uses Paul to point out the relationship of productive love. Parents love children and desire they become productive parts of their community. They want them to become people of character. They want them to show the character they were trained into when they go into the world.

 * Love: agape; acting to meet need of others without expectation. This is about living out the shape of God in the lives of people.

 * Joy: kharah; assurance. This is one of the crown jewels of the Christian life – the resolute assurance that God is on the throne, and intensely aware of my world, and my life. Where I am is where He knows He can use me!

 * Peace: iraynay; confident rest. Because I have joy, I sleep well. Because I have peace, I breath easily.

 * Patience: makrothumia; distant boiling. Things aren’t beating me up. I am not driven by my problems, I am led by my God!

 * Kindness: kray-stot-ace; moral integrity; comes from a potter’s word for usable. The secret to reflecting God in my walk is keeping myself usable to His purposes. Unkind people are unusable people.

 * Goodness: kalos: favoring the good and right. I feed on things that are wholesome and draw me to Him, not things that draw me to the baser instincts of my fallen man.

 * Faithfulness: pistis; in the vision of what God says is true. My world is seen through God’s Word, and my thinking is fully shaped by His Word.

 * Gentleness: pra-ootace; mild disposition. I am harmless and uncomplicated.

 * Self-control: engratia; mastered his own desires.

Chapter six goes on and offers three more:

Fourth, I hunger to care for the needs of others, even when they haven’t shown a pattern of deserving that (6:1-4).

Fifth, Learn to take care of your own messes and face that my problems are often the consequences of my bad choices (6:5-8).

Sixth, I can give up far too easily and not stick with obedience in tough times (6:9-10).

Look carefully at the shape of the jar you are putting around your children. Do they understand unconditional love? Do they demonstrate the respect of real love – acted out in value and lifestyles? Do they walk in productive love – that informs their choices? The "shape" around someone forms their growth to a pattern. We must be deliberate about what we show them and what we withhold from them to shape their lives..

You cannot give away what you do not possess. Do YOU walk in unconditional, real and productive love?