Reading the Map: “Where the Roads Meet”- Genesis 43

It is likely that a childhood accident caused the poet Elizabeth Barrett to lead a life of semi-invalidism before she married Robert Browning in 1846. Still, there’s more to the story. In her youth, Elizabeth had been watched over by her tyrannical father. Elizabeth was the eldest of their 12 children (eight boys and four girls). When she and Robert were married, their wedding was held in secret because of her father’s disapproval. After the wedding the Brownings sailed for Italy, where they lived for the rest of their lives. But even though her parents had disowned her, Elizabeth never gave up on the relationship. Almost weekly she wrote them letters. Not once did they reply. After 10 years, she received a large box in the mail. Inside, Elizabeth found all of her letters; not one had been opened! She died and was buried in the English Cemetery of Florence, Italy. This collection of her last poems was published by her husband, shortly after her death. Today those letters are among the most beautiful in classical English literature. Had her parents only read a few of them, their relationship with Elizabeth might have been restored. ~Adapted from Daily Walk, May 30, 1992.

Key Principle: There are ingredients to the preparation for reconciliation. If we ignore them, our roads will never meet, and the life and joy we could share will never be. It is TIME TO LEARN to put the pieces together under God’s sovereign hand…

To get us into our “MAP STUDY” for this passage, we need to set the stage well, or the situation will not be able to profoundly “SPEAK” for itself.

There are SIX OBSERVATIONS that I want to briefly point to, on our way into the story of steps that brought about reconciliation.

Observation #1: This section of Genesis that we are studying is part of the “Salvation of Jacob” (Genesis 42-50) where Jacob finds a son he believed was dead, and his past finally comes to a sharp focal point of new birth.

He rediscovers hope, life and future. There are three visits of Jacob’s sons in Egypt that save the family from destruction. The physical threat is the famine, but the real destruction is the tearing from within that must be reconciled. Only God has all the tools to reconcile the relationship – and God uses them in this story. Last time we looked at the first visit of Jacob’s Family to Egypt (42) and discovered the story revealed eight truths to that help us to this day to deal with a guilty conscience. Let’s dive backward into that chapter again to drop the backdrop and set the stage for Genesis 43, the second visit of Jacob’s family to Egypt (43-45).

Observation #2: Some mistakes we fail to learn from, while others we seem to “get” (42:1-5).

The last chapter opened with a severe famine and grain running out (42:1). Jacob cajoles his sons into going to Egypt – but his sons were not anxious to deal with it until the food ran out (42:2). Finally they left (3) but Benjamin stayed behind because dad didn’t trust the brother’s ability to bring him back safely – Jacob was playing favorites AGAIN! (42:4-5).

Jacob learned that SENDING A YOUTH AWAY cost him his son, Joseph. What he did not learn was that PLAYING FAVORITES also cost him his son – there were TWO CHOICES involved in Joe’s loss from his dad’s end! Some lessons we seem to learn from in life – others we are destined to repeat with our hard heads!

Observation #3: We don’t really know HOW God will accomplish His purposes in our lives. (42:7-9) He can teach us and change us through many operations of life.

The boys came to Joe but didn’t recognize him (42:5-7). Joe set up some tests to measure them… Had they really changed? He spoke harshly to them (7) as in his mind he went back to the dreams he had as a youth – seeing them BOW BEFORE HIM (42:8-9). He could never have guessed how God would bring that about. He tried to forget his old life, but God wanted to accomplish His purposes through Joe, and Joe just got a glimpse of the incredibly resourceful hand of God!

Observation #4: We meet people “under construction” – they may have learned a bit since our last encounter. (42:9b-10).

Joe tested the boys and said, “You are spies!” (9b). “No!” They protested. “We are HONEST MEN!” (10). Joe heard something from their mouths that was different than their last encounter. Control had slipped away some, and they were learning about vulnerability. That was a FAR CRY from the last time –when he called out for help from the pit – but they were in FULL CONTROL! When he encountered the boys this time, he noticed some differences – because often people have been learning since we last saw them!

Observation #5: The “facts” people relate don’t tell the story as it happened! (42:11-13).

The boys unraveled their story and Joe listened intently (42:11-13). Details: 1 man had 12 sons… 1 was dead… 1 was with dad… 10 were present. Interesting! One was DEAD – they glossed over any details of that one. Often when people speak about their past, they REFRAME the choices as BEYOND THEIR CONTROL and their mistakes are omitted. We must remember that we don’t always remember things the way they happened – we sometimes strive to make peace with ourselves by covering over our guilt.

Observation #6: When we are tested, what is truly inside comes out (42:14-38).

Joes tested them further (42:14-17) and sent them away for a three day stay at the PRISON. After three days, Joe changed the requirement of the group to leave one brother imprisoned while the others went home and returned with the youngest brother, Ben – just to show they were telling the truth about their story (42:18-20). Guilt and pressure gave way to blame and finger pointing (42:21-22) and Joe listened while they thought he couldn’t understand their language (42:23). He sent them away, but gave them back in their sacks the money they paid for the grain. They returned to Jacob MINUS SIMEON, who was sitting in jail (42:24-38).

That seems like a LONG INTRODUCTION to our story for this passage, and it is. At the same time, it allowed us to lower the backdrop and set the stage for the story. Resume the story with Simeon in prison, and the boys home with their dad…Joe’s Test: It is time to learn reconciliation and put hope into action!

Remember, There are ingredients to the preparation for reconciliation. If we ignore them, our roads will never meet. The preparation for reconciliation in this passage is expressed in a series of little TESTS that Joe put his brothers through.

Six Ways the “preparation testing” led to get reconciliation:

1: It revealed the root problems in the family (43:1-2). Tests often reveal things hidden in the family’s back closet – skeletons of the past.

“Proud people remain stubborn resistant to acknowledging their sins. Until people are willing to take responsibility for their sins they will not be able to allow the cleansing ministry of the Bible to cleanse their conscience. Motives are very important to God. Until people are willing to cleanse their mind, will and emotions from any impure motives they will not be able to please God in all aspects.” Paul Fritz

The problem was first with DAD (43:1-2). Genesis 43:1 Now the famine was severe in the land. 2 So it came about when they had finished eating the grain which they had brought from Egypt, that their father said to them, “Go back, buy us a little food.”

Dads are different, and the relationship is not the same as with the moms in the room. We know it. I recall someone telling the story: “One little boy, when asked to explain about Father’s Day, said, “It’s just like Mother’s Day, only you don’t spend as much on the present.”

The problem was continued in the irresponsible brothers (43:3-8). 3 Judah spoke to him, however, saying, “The man solemnly warned us, ‘You shall not see my face unless your brother is with you.’ 4 “If you send our brother with us, we will go down and buy you food. 5 “But if you do not send him, we will not go down; for the man said to us, ‘You will not see my face unless your brother is with you.’” 6 Then Israel said, “Why did you treat me so badly by telling the man whether you still had another brother?” 7 But they said, “The man questioned particularly about us and our relatives, saying, ‘Is your father still alive? Have you another brother?’ So we answered his questions. Could we possibly know that he would say, ‘Bring your brother down’?” 8 Judah said to his father Israel, “Send the lad with me and we will arise and go, that we may live and not die, we as well as you and our little ones.

2: The test forced a brother to take responsibility – a half step (43:9-10).

9 “I myself will be surety for him; you may hold me responsible for him. If I do not bring him back to you and set him before you, then let me bear the blame before you forever. 10 “For if we had not delayed, surely by now we could have returned twice.”

Jacob needed to have trust restored to the brothers to heal his heart. This was a beginning – seeing a brother take responsibility. It didn’t solve the problems, but it helped:

John Hamby wrote: “Trust is a valuable commodity, it is hard to obtain and easy to lose. Trust is one of the most significant ingredients in all of human relationships. Who among us has not suffered from its loss. Perhaps it has been from something we have done or said that others have suffered a loss of trust in us and we have been trying to rebuild that lost trust.”

3: The test forced Jacob to recall the CONTROL of God -  a subject he has struggled with for years.. (43:11-15).

11 Then their father Israel said to them, “If it must be so, then do this: take some of the best products of the land in your bags, and carry down to the man as a present, a little balm and a little honey, aromatic gum and myrrh, pistachio nuts and almonds. 12 “Take double the money in your hand, and take back in your hand the money that was returned in the mouth of your sacks; perhaps it was a mistake. 13 “Take your brother also, and arise, return to the man; 14 and may God Almighty grant you compassion in the sight of the man, so that he will release to you your other brother and Benjamin. And as for me, if I am bereaved of my children, I am bereaved.” 15 So the men took this present, and they took double the money in their hand, and Benjamin; then they arose and went down to Egypt and stood before Joseph.

4: The test took all control from the brothers and placed them in fear and vulnerability (43:16-23).

16 When Joseph saw Benjamin with them, he said to his house steward, “Bring the men into the house, and slay an animal and make ready; for the men are to dine with me at noon.” 17 So the man did as Joseph said, and brought the men to Joseph’s house. 18 Now the men were afraid, because they were brought to Joseph’s house; and they said, “It is because of the money that was returned in our sacks the first time that we are being brought in, that he may seek occasion against us and fall upon us, and take us for slaves with our donkeys.” 19 So they came near to Joseph’s house steward, and spoke to him at the entrance of the house, 20 and said, “Oh, my lord, we indeed came down the first time to buy food, 21 and it came about when we came to the lodging place, that we opened our sacks, and behold, each man’s money was in the mouth of his sack, our money in full. So we have brought it back in our hand. 22 “We have also brought down other money in our hand to buy food; we do not know who put our money in our sacks.” 23 He said, “Be at ease, do not be afraid. Your God and the God of your father has given you treasure in your sacks; I had your money.” Then he brought Simeon out to them.

Jacob understood the vulnerability. One commentator wrote: Jacob didn’t have to put double the silver back into those sacks. It is probably certain that he could have ill-afforded to do so personally as years of draught must certainly have drained his resources. Nonetheless, even though no one expected him to do so, he was compelled to not only do the honest thing and return the silver, he was also compelled to double it because his name, the most valuable thing he possessed, was even more compelling. Perhaps the temptation was there to try to “get away with something.” Jacob was as human subject to sin as you and I. Yet, he did not yield to this. Rather, he was not willing to accept something for which he had not dutifully paid. It really didn’t matter whether he had to or not. His reputation was on the line and he would spare no cost to make sure that his good name would remain so. Jacob guarded his integrity. He put his good name above good gain.

Booker T. Washington describes meeting an ex-slave from Virginia in his book Up From Slavery: “I found that this man had made a contract with his master, two or three years previous to the Emancipation Proclamation, to the effect that the slave was to be permitted to buy himself, by paying so much per year for his body; and while he was paying for himself, he was to be permitted to labor where and for whom he pleased. Finding that he could secure better wages in Ohio, he went there. When freedom came, he was still in debt to his master some three hundred dollars. Notwithstanding that the Emancipation Proclamation freed him from any obligation to his master, this black man walked the greater portion of the distance back to where his old master lived in Virginia, and placed the last dollar, with interest, in his hands. In talking to me about this, the man told me that he knew that he did not have to pay his debt, but that he had given his word to his master, and his word he had never broken. He felt that he could not enjoy his freedom till he had fulfilled his promise.” (Douglas E. Moore.)

In a world so caught up in rules and regulations it is not surprising that in that regulating process the door has literally been left ajar for those who enjoy skirting the rules. Whether it’s cheating on college exams and papers (which has become pan-demic on college campuses around the world) or fudging a few figures on Uncle Sam’s form 1040 (according to the IRS tax fraud has increased dramatically in the United States, especially since taxes were simplified over the last few decades), fraud is on the increase around the world. It seems the more governments try to circumvent it with complicated systems of control and reporting, the more it seems to spread. One young enterprising IRS examiner put it this way. “It’s like scratching a rash. The harder we try to stop the itching, the worse the itching gets and the farther the rash spreads.”

Jacob knew deception – he could smell it. He wanted to protect, as best he could, the reputation of the family.

5: The test set up Joe to learn some critical lessons (43:24-34).

24 Then the man brought the men into Joseph’s house and gave them water, and they washed their feet; and he gave their donkeys fodder. 25 So they prepared the present for Joseph’s coming at noon; for they had heard that they were to eat a meal there. 26 When Joseph came home, they brought into the house to him the present which was in their hand and bowed to the ground before him. 27 Then he asked them about their welfare, and said, “Is your old father well, of whom you spoke? Is he still alive?” 28 They said, “Your servant our father is well; he is still alive.” They bowed down in homage. 29 As he lifted his eyes and saw his brother Benjamin, his mother’s son, he said, “Is this your youngest brother, of whom you spoke to me?” And he said, “May God be gracious to you, my son.” 30 Joseph hurried out for he was deeply stirred over his brother, and he sought a place to weep; and he entered his chamber and wept there. 31 Then he washed his face and came out; and he controlled himself and said, “Serve the meal.” 32 So they served him by himself, and them by themselves, and the Egyptians who ate with him by themselves, because the Egyptians could not eat bread with the Hebrews, for that is loathsome to the Egyptians. 33 Now they were seated before him, the firstborn according to his birthright and the youngest according to his youth, and the men looked at one another in astonishment. 34 He took portions to them from his own table, but Benjamin’s portion was five times as much as any of theirs. So they feasted and drank freely with him.

God brought them together and put them in order. The prime minister of Egypt has a banquet prepared and then according to verse 33, he had them seated, “And they sat before him, the firstborn according to his birthright and the youngest according to his youth; and the men looked in astonishment at one another.” As the brothers looked around the table something became apparent to them, they had been seated in order of age, from the oldest to the youngest. This can hardly have been a coincidence. Henry Morris in his commentary notes that there are “no less than 39,917,000 different orders in which eleven individuals could have been seated.” {Henry M. Morris. The Genesis Record. (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1962) p. 93] This is the first time in twenty years that all twelve brothers have been in the same place at the same time, but only one of them is aware of it.

He played favorites just like his dad (43: 33-34). God ordered the family – but Joe loved his whole brother more than his half brothers. He also knew that Ben had nothing to do with his captivity!

He learned that being led by passion was not the best move – it caused him HIS TROUBLE (43:30). Simeon’s imprisonment was a reflection that Joe may have gone a bit too far. Though Simeon had been a family problem since leading the Hamor incident at Shechem (Gen. 34), it seems like all the family rested while Simeon was imprisoned. Yet, it may have been a PASSION response – and that wasn’t the most reliable faculty of good decision making!

It takes time to be reconciled, and it sometimes takes stress tests – but the end is worth it. There are ingredients to prepare for reconciliation. If we ignore them, our roads will never meet, and the life and joy we could share will never be.

One wise teacher (Paul Fritz) told his students of the Word:  “Remind everyone involved in the reconciliation process that God sovereign power is able to use every failure of man for His greater purposes as long as He trust Him. Help people to get beyond their feelings of regret, resentment or bitterness. Pray together for God’s forgiveness to fill every aspect of peoples’ lives so they are not tempted to bring up the issue at another time. The Holy Spirit will help you avoid reacting out of hurt feelings. God will help you overcome the tendency to let subjective emotions distort your objective decision-making abilities. The Holy Spirit has a way of transforming our mind, will and emotions to Christ like status if we will only let Him.”